


Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

by Torishire



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward situations, BDSM kink, Blood and Injury, Coma, F/M, Fake AH Crew, Fem Jack, Fluff, Hospitals, Kinks, Love, M/M, Masterbation, Mutual Pining, Nudity, POV First Person, Sex, Song fic, Violence, hiests
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-03 21:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14577741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torishire/pseuds/Torishire
Summary: It's normal to get hurt on the job, it's happened to them all it's very rare to leave a job unscathed; but it's never been this bad. Emotions will run high and tensions are up, all because of some small mistakes...'What happened i thought you said it was clear!" Gavin shrieks over the earpiece hunkered down behind a pillar bullets flying everywhere, fear clung to him like a rabid beast... It only took a split second,as someone ran his way he didn't even realize he had pulled the trigger until he realized it wasn't the enemy he hit..





	1. Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SathTrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SathTrash/gifts).



> xoxox loves thanks for taking time to read this it means a lot <3  
> dedicating it to the person that's amazing <3

"Alright you guys in position?" Geoff asks over the ear piece and i nod knowing he can see me in the camera feed, i'm waiting in the bank line doing my best to act normal. This is a simple heist the plan is simple and easy, i run my finger along the inside of my teeth as i wait for the signal. "Alright gav Michael and Jeremy are ready, were all clear, going to blow the wall be ready." I nod shifting slightly so i can quickly pull my gun out, the explosion goes off sending shock waves through the crowd people are screaming as i quickly pull out my pistol and take out the two Guards who are momentarily stunned. Michael and Jeremy step over the rubble and fire a few shots in the air "EVERY BODY DOWN!!" I join behind them following to the tellers, "ALL THE MONEY IN THE BAG AND YOU CAN ALL GO HOME!" Michael Yells as Jeremy hands over three bags, "How are we doing outside Geoff?" I ask looking over the room, everyone is still on the ground and the comm is silent for a moment. 

"Geoff?!?!" "BOYS GET OUT OF THERE NOW! The cops are coming in droves i don't know how they were tipped off.. GET OUT!" His voice is frantic and loud enough that Jeremy and Michael hear it, "Fuck.." It's grumbled as the only bag is grabbed and we head for the hole in the wall, We hurry over the rubble and head towards the back only to see the incoming police cars. We hurry to the front and have just enough time to duck into some sort of cover before guns are blazing all around, my back is pressed to one of the pillars and i do my best to swallow my fear this is bad this is very bad... " What happened you said it was clear!!" I shriek as bullets fly past me, my heart is racing as i glance around my gun gripped tightly in my hand. This was supposed to be a simple heist easy... I glance over and before I can process what's going on i fire my gun fear and adrenaline coursing through my veins, but in the split second after i fire i realize it wasn't a cop coming at me; it was Ryan.

He's hit a few more times and he drops i scream, what did i do... I'm given no time to react as i feel Michael grab me around my waist and toss me over his shoulder running us both away, I watch Jeremy toss a grenade back before he manages to pick up Ryan. As the Grenade explodes i can't see anything, there's so much dust and smoke in the air; my earts are filled with a high pitched ringing my ear piece long gone. When we reach the waiting car Michael tosses me into the back seat my gun falling to the floor before he runs back, it's only when Jack forces me to look at her do i realize i'm still screaming. "Gav baby i need you to stop screaming!" She says sternly and i manage to stop as Jeremy and Michael squeeze in pulling Ryan across us, Geoff hits the gas and were speeding off. I'm cradling his head on my lap and through the eye holes on his mask i can just see his eyes looking up at me, i carefully pull off his mask and his breathing is labored. "Shitshitshitshit Ryan i'm sorry i didn't mean too igotpanickedandi'msorryplease please..." I'm fumbling for words trying to apologize as the tears start running down my face, "Shhh Gav shhh.." he huffs squeezing his eyes shut as Geoff takes a corner a bit too hard. 

Michael's opening Ryan's jacket and looking at the Kevlar the bullets had all managed to go through, shit... "Jack you gotta call Trevor tell him to meet us at the safe house Ryan's hurt bad..." The panic registering in Michael's voice is causing my chest to tighten, i feel a hand lightly grab mine and looking down Ryan's got my hand in his. "Ryan.." my voice is meek and he takes in a sharp breath, "Don't... Don't blame yourself..." He goes to take another breath and starts coughing and my throat feels tight, his eyes flutter closed and his grip on my hand is getting looser. "Ryan no! ryAN... RYAN STAY AWAKE PLEASE!!" I"M full on sobbing as i squeeze his hand my own breathing coming out Rushed and panicked. I barely notice the car stopping it feels like everything is happening so fast, Geoff,Michael and Jeremy rush Ryan inside and i feel Jack coaxing me out. I feel like a mess and i can barely move as she takes my hand, "J-jack.." I sputter my voice horse as the tears continue to stream down my cheeks, she reaches forward just as i collapse and she hugs me to her chest.

She holds me tightly as i cry hugging her, "Gav it's gonna be ok baby he's gonna be okay.." But even as steady as her voice in i can hear it's laced with fear, we sit for a few minutes before she helps me up and we head inside the safe house. Jeremy and Michael are sitting on the ugly couch, Michael's on the phone with who i can only guess is Lindsay. Jeremy get's up and walks over, "Where's Geoff?" Jack asks and lil J motions towards the hall, " he's calling Burnie.Trevor and Barb are already working on Ryan, Geoff's seeing if he can get more supplies in so they can stabilize him until Ashley can bring a transport vehicle." Jack nods giving my shoulder a squeeze before leaving me with Jeremy, he gives me a gentile look "You okay?" He asks and i shake my head no he nods leaning on the back of the chair. I swallow slightly doing my best to fight back more tears, "Gav..." I shake my head "i'm gonna sit outside.." I manage before walking out the back door and sitting myself in the small bench.

This is not how today was supposed to go, no one was supposed to get hurt... I stare out at the water squeezing my eyes closed i wish this was a dream, why can't it be a god damn dream. I hear the door open but i don't open my eyes i just hang my head, "Hey kiddo." I stay quiet as I listen to Geoff walk over sitting himself next to me, I open my eyes but keep my gaze on my shoes. "I'm sorry Gav today didn't go as planned," he sighs " Everything seemed to be going well and we hadn't heard anything..I should've been paying closer attention, Gav i'm sorry..." I put my hands on the back of my neck, "I shot him Geoff... I saw someone running at me and i shot him..." my voice is barely audible and my body trembles more sobs bubbling up in my throat, "Gavvers..." He sighs gently pulling me into his side with ease, "It was an accident buddy. I know shit like that can stay with you but i want you to know none of us Ryan included blame you for anything that happened. Shit hit the fan and it could've been any of us.."

I know logically he's right but right now it feels as if my whole world is caving in, i'm a horrible person. His fingers rub small comforting circles on my arm as i feel myself breakdown again. A few minutes go by when i hear the sound of another car pulling up, glancing back Ashley's sliding out of the large range rover and making her way quickly inside. I finally look up at Geoff "Can i go with them i.. I can't just sit here.." He nods "Let's go see if they need a hand first and i'll let them know your going with them." We get up and i follow behind him, as we get inside Trevor, Jeremy and Michael are Carefully carrying Ryan out, Barbara to one side holding up the iv bag. "Trevor I'm sending Gav with you ok?" They exchange a quick look as Trevor nods. "Alright come on Gav if your coming were gonna have you sit in the back with him and hold the iv bag." I quickly trail behind We reach the back and the seats are almost all missing except for one, it's been modified for things like this..

"Alright climb in, " i do as i'm instructed and no sooner do i sit barb hands me the bag as the boys maneuver Ryan in; and my heart is in my stomach as they rest his head on my lap. "Alright i'll call you tonight Gav.." Jack says worry spread across her face I nod simply as the door is shut and everyone else slides in...

 

4 hours later

 

I'm still sitting in the waiting room of the clinic my body aching and my eyes red and sore, my knees bounce as i wait for Jacks car to pull up. "You need a coffee or anything hun?" Ashley asks stepping in from the hall, i shake my head "No thanks ash." She nods glancing out the door, looking over i see Jacks car pull up. "See ya later bud," i bob my head before walking out to the car. She pulls out as soon as i'm in the car and i lean against the window, "the wouldn't tell me anything..." She glances over turning the corner, "Well love that's probably a good thing right now. And besides the fact they might not have much to tell any of us right now," she pulls up at the pent house garage and hits the door opener button. "Let's get you inside and showered and changed, it's just you and i for tonight the others are still at the safe house." I furrow my brows as she pulls into the garage, "why..." She shrugs nonchalantly "I told them to stay there, figured you could use some recoup time without the boys." 

She parks the car and turns to me and places her hand gently on my thigh, " I also wanted to make sure your okay." I swallow twiddling my thumbs, "can we talk upstairs?" She nods pulling the keys out she and i get out of the car and step into the elevator, once it reaches the top we both step out "How about you shower and change and i'll make some hot chocolate and we can talk?" i give her a half smile nodding before i pad slowly to my room, closing the door behind me i hurry into my bathroom and exhale a breath before i open the shower door and turn the water on. I peel off my clothes and shudder at the amount of dried blood staining the front, i drop my boxers and step into the hot water. My body feels like it's crying as i step i let the water wash over me, everything feels so tender and hurts but i can't bring myself to turn the water colder. I heave a sigh washing my hair quickly before turning the water off, i collect my clothes off the floor and toss them into the hamper before i grab a towel and dry myself off.

Going back into my room i slip on a clean pair of boxers and my pj pants before walking out into the living room, Jacks settled on the couch a mug of cocoa in hand and one on the table netflix running some re run of friends. I sit myself on the opposite side of the couch she reaches forward and grabs the mug passing it to me before shifting to face me. "So tell me how your feeling..." I swallow "Honestly i feel like an absolute garbage person, like i freaked out there Jack... And i know we've all gotten hurt before but i did this Jack i'm the reason he got hurt... And I just... He's taken so many dangerous things for me from bullets and stab wounds to beatings... I shot him Jack and he got caught in more gun fire.. He was bleeding out on me and at this point none of us even know if he's okay..." I sniffle staring into my cocoa."I can't believe i just pulled the trigger, like i just..." i cough a little putting the mug back on the table knowing i'll probably just drop it at this point.

"What if he dies Jack? What if i killed him? I.. I Don't think i could live with myself if i killed him.. I fucking Love him and i shot him..." My voice trails off as my words hang in the air, that 'L' word the thing i haven't been able to admit to anyone let alone the one person who makes my heart flutter like a million butterflies." If he dies i won't ever forgive myself, i haven't even told him how i felt! But he's in a hospital wound in god knows what condition because of me!" I hiccup as i feel myself hyper ventilating slightly. She grabs my hand and squeezes it, "Gav baby deep breaths.. " She says helping me calm down enough that my breathing returns to semi normal, "That's a lot to process sweet pea. I want you to know first off and i'm sure you've heard it a lot today but Nobody including Ryan blames you, shit like that can happen to any of us. I mean i have almost stabbed Geoff before and that was after a heist, adrenaline and fear can blind you in a moment. "

"Your feelings are valid though sweetheart and It's going to feel like that for a long while but i'm sure he'll be okay, he's a strong man Gav." She pauses her thumb rubbing the top of my hand, "I'm sure your going to get to spend many nights asking him all sorts of stupid questions and watching stars on the the roof." I sniffle squeezing her hand, "I wish i told him i wish i said something anything just so he knew how much i.. I know i'm not good with those kinds of emotions let alone saying them out loud.." She smiles softly at me "But your good at talking about them with me.." "You don't count... Your like the mom i never had i can talk to you about anything I just... I can't do that with the guys it just feels weird," She nods slightly "I can understand that... Now we can talk more tomorrow i think you need to rest," She let's my hand go before getting up and walking over to the other couch and pulling the big blanket off the back of the couch.

She pulls the blanket onto the couch as she plops down making sure i have enough blanket, i yawn shifting until i'm curled up on my end of the couch. My eye lids feel heavy and i know it's not going to be a great sleep but i allow the darkness to pull me down into the inky blackness.


	2. But it's too late You believe in fate You're absolutely smitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So after the heaviness of the last chapter have some Flash back Chapter :) sorry it's shorter than the rest will be - Kisses

"Hey Ryan million dollars but you have to get a tattoo of my choosing," He looks over the top of his book from his seat on the couch. "Depends last time you made this bet Geoff ended up with your nose..." I laugh slightly leaning further on the couch, "What if i promise to make it something normal?" He looks me over and i feel my heart race slightly, "Fine only if you promise it'll be normal, and i swear to god if it's a fucking unicorn.." I snort "I promise it'll be normal." He Rolls his eyes smiling as he goes back to reading his book, i retreat back to my room and pull out my laptop and bring up the design i'd been working on; it's not amazing but with the help of an actual tattoo artist it could be good. I pull up the number for the tattoo place down the street and pull out my phone i'm lucky my favorite artist picks up, "Hello? " "Hey Jason! I was wondering if you had some time to do a piece on a friend of mine tonight?" There's a small pause and a chuckle "Sure as long as you got the money what are we doing?" 

"Well i have a design i'm just gonna send it to you, wanted to call and make sure you were free first. So what time should we come?" I ask quickly sending him the design," four o'clock work? You know i don't mind finishing things for you after hours," I smile "Perfect! Thanks Jason!!" Hanging up i close my lap top and slide off the bed skipping to the living room," Soooooo were going today at three and after it's done i'll wire you the money!" I giggle, He shakes his head putting his book down he looks back at me. "I hope i'm not going to regret this.." I go to speak just as Geoff walks in the room cup of coffee in hand, "Regret what?" "Ryan's getting a tattoo i chose!" I chirp and Geoff walks over to Ryan and presses his palm to his forehead "No no Fever so you must be fucking crazy..." I roll my eyes jumping over the back of the couch i stick my tongue out at him, "No we made rules un like when you got tattooed. Plus a million is a million," Geoff raises a hand shaking his head slightly. 

"Whatever floats your boat dude, when do you get to see the design?" He asks and i smirk "Not until it's done!" Both of them groan "I swear Gavin i know where you sleep.." I snort "Funny you think i sleep," He rolls his eyes playfully tossing a pillow my way.I squeak and Ryan laughs making my heart putter just a bit faster, i feel like a school girl every time he laughs; well and anytime were alone together if i'm being honest with myself...

 

2 hours laterrrr

"I can't believe i agreed to this," he says looking up at me from his spot laying on the table. I smile sitting in the chair nearest to his face, "I promise it'll be fine." I glance over at Jason who's just finishing up his machine set up i made sure the stencil was lined up perfectly and it fits him even better than i thought it would, "Alright you ready dude?" Jason asks and Ryan nods his hanging arm moving to rest on my lap, " I need some sort of blood circulation. " I smile taking his hand in mine "Just in case, i mean i know your pretty good with pain but still.." He gives me a lop sided smile as the sound of the tattoo gun fills the air,i'm slightly surprised when i feel Ryan squeeze my hand. "So is this your first tattoo?" Jason asks "Yeah and probably my last i change my mind too much," Jason chuckles wiping away the blood and extra ink. I watch as he puts my lines to skin and i'm surprised at how close he kept it he didn't really change anything, then i notice he even kept my signature! 

"Well i guess i've signed your back.." Ryan looks up at me eyes wide "What?!?!?" I sink back in my seat slightly, "Well i designed the tattoo and i guess i forgot to take my signature out." He sighs "I'm sure it'll be fine.." As i watch Jason work my nerves are high, i tried to actually make something nice this time.. Jason starts asking questions and i sit back and listen to the two of them chat Ryan's hand still in mine occasionally giving it a squeeze as the needle glides over a scar or a sweet spot. I'm zoning out when the sound of the gun stops, "Alright my guys i think it's been long enough. Go check it out," I swallow how many hours have passed how zoned out have i been?!?!? I let go of Ryans hand and watch him get up and stretch god his muscles..... "You okay Gavvers?" I shake my head "Yeah just kinda zoned out," I laugh slightly rubbing at the blush creeping up on the back of my neck. I watch him walk towards the mirror and i wait with bated breath, he looks it over and then he turns back to me big smile on his face and i feel a sense of relief wash over me.

"This is amazing Gav and you drew that?" I nod watching Jason go about washing the tattoo and applying the wrap. "Alright while you get your shirt on Gavin there's gotta pay," I smirk as Jason walks past me to the desk and i follow pulling out my wallet and grab eight hundred dollar bills. "Always a pleasure Gav," I nod as Ryan joins us carefully pulling on his jacket before we step out into the cool night air. "I can't believe it's already this late, i zoned out in there but i didn't realize how much time went by." He nods and i shiver as a strong gust of wind blows by with the passing of a truck, he drapes an arm over my shoulder and pulls me into him, "Stay close it's a bit chilly and you refused to bring a jacket." I snort "it was nice when we showed up!" He chuckles "Ya know your really talented at art, how come you've never showed any of us?" I shrug keeping my gaze forward "It's not something i thought to show, i mean it's just a hobby and i'm not good at it by any means."

"Gav your really good at this though, just from what i saw on the tattoo i have now your incredible and you have wonderful attention to detail." I feel that blush from earlier returning as we continue around the corner, "That's nice of you to say but.." "No buts seriously Gav your really good, maybe if all this heisting settles you should look into doing something with your art." I smile leaning against him slightly as the penthouse comes into sight, "Thanks Ry..." We reach the front door and head inside as we stop and wait for the elevator i pull out my phone and do the money transfer, "A deals a deal." He rolls his eyes and i feel my heart beating against my chest, his arm is still draped over my shoulders. The elevator comes down and it's not until we step inside that his arm is removed, he hits the button and lean back against the elevator wall. The door opens and we both exit the elevator, Lindsay and Michael are at the counter and Jon and Jeremy are sitting on the couch playing mario.

"Hey guys where were you at?" Lindsay asks as i plop down onto the couch opposite Jon and Jeremy, "i was earning a million.." Ryan says simply smiling at me before wandering off down the hall, i smile to myself as i lean back into my seat and watch Jeremy and Jon play. "You seem chipper for someone who lost a a million bucks," Michael notes plopping down beside me. "This is money i'm okay loosing it was worth it," i smile hanging my head to the side. I watch the others play Lindsay and Michael joining Jon and Jeremy for a few more minutes before i plod back to my room, closing the door i sigh happily flopping down backwards on my feather down. He liked it! He liked my art!!! I giggle kicking my legs about happily, my shoes flying across the room; well i guess i forgot to take those off... 

I can't stop smiling i'm just so happy he liked it!


	3. I should tell you, i'm disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnd back to the present

"Gavin, Gavin buddy wake up." I blink a few times when the haze leaves Lindsay's looking down at me, "Hey good morning I'm making some breakfast for everyone you feel like eating?" I yawn sitting up i look around everyone's seated or leaning against the counter, I shrug " Thanks Linds but I think I'm gonna go get dressed I'm not really that hungry." She dips her head before walking back to the others, I get up and trudge towards my room. Once i'm inside and the door is closed i crawl under the comforter, my body aches and my head is pounding. "Gavin sweetpea can i come in?" I sigh softly I just want to hide, "Sure..." I cringe at my own horse voice as i watch the door open and Jack slips inside,She pads over and sits herself on the edge of the bed. "So Trevor called this morning i thought you would want to Know Ryan is stable for now," My heart leaps but her face says there's more. "He's stable but there are some surgeries they need to preform still... And After the first few he woke up..." She pauses exhaling a breath "they had to sedate him, he's in a medically induced coma for the time being..."

"I won't get into more details but when he fell he hit his head and that caused some trauma in his brain..."She pauses "They did the brain surgery before they put him under but there was still some swelling so this is the safest way..." No sooner had my heart fill with hope but it drops just as fast, "Jack..." my voice shakes and she adverts her gaze "I thought you'd want to know," I pull the blanket over my head and curl in on myself. "I'm sorry baby, i'm sorry i just thought it would be better if you knew." I squeeze my eyes shut, There's a moment of silence between us before she get's up. "I'll be right back..." her voice is low before i hear her footsteps retreating, fresh tears spill over and i can't stop them from falling. I wipe at my face when i hear her re enter my room, "I know it's not much but i know when things happen or Geoff's away i like to have little things of his to make me think of him... And i know you so i think this might help," I see the blanket dent slightly as she sets something down.

"I'll save you some breakfast in the microwave, Geoff's in his office and i'm in our room if you need anything." She slips out of my room again and i move the blanket slowly and find one of Ryan's shirts, I bring it to my nose and it's got the scent of his cologne and it's slightly comforting to have this here. I hug it to my chest like i used to do with my teddy bears when i was a kid, i stay like this for a while before i feel my stomach growl.Gingerly i pull myself out of bed leaving the shirt tucked right into my pillow, stepping into t he hall the faint sound of cartoons fills the air as i pad out into the now empty kitchen. I peak into the microwave and see Jack left me a plate so i hit the button and slide onto one of the stools at the counter, "hey Gav!" I Glance up as Jeremy walks in sliding onto a stool. "You wanna join me for a drive today? Was gonna go check out some of those shops on the other side of town," I nod "Yeah getting out could be good." He smiles warmly as the microwave beeps.

"So come find me when your ready to go," He slides off his stool and heads back down the hall. I grab my plate and eat and pick at it until i feel i can't eat anymore, i empty it into the trash and put the plate in the sink before going back to my room. I pull on a t shirt and skinny jeans making sure to grab my phone wallet and sweater before going to knock on Jeremy's door. He opens the door and smiles as he joins me in the hall, I follow him to the elevator and he's bouncing a little as we step inside."I"m excited there's a few places down there i've been wanting to check out for a while," I smile as we slide into his least brightly colored car. He hits the button and we pull up to the garage door, "So i'm thinking we start at the end of the street and work our way back to the car." I nod "That sounds like a good strategy," he smiles turning another corner. The rest of the drive there is quiet except for the slight hum of the air conditioning, He parks along the road and we slide out of the car before starting up the street.

"So how's it goin?" i shrug as we enter a small floral shop, "I dunno lil j my emotions are so up in the air... I'm anxious and angry, i'm upset and worried. I feel like my head will explode," he nods giving me a sympathetic smile. "You are handling this like any of us would if the person were closest to was hurt," he avoids saying partner and I know we weren't but it's just a reminder i haven't had a chance to tell him how i feel. As we walk through the isles i keep finding myself drawn back to the small little succulents, " maybe you should pick one of those up you seem to keep coming back," Jeremy teases but i smile picking up the smallest pot. Jeremy settles on a few pots and daisy seeds , paying for our purchases we move onto the next shop. Stepping inside the walls are decorated with paintings and the shelves are lined with art supplies, i grab one of the baskets and Jeremy chuckles. "What?" "I thought you'd like this place," I raise an eyebrow "I thought you were just checking these out?" He smirks "Never said i hadn't been in these before."

I roll my eyes as we go around the store by the time we get back to the front my baskets full, Jeremy chuckles "Well this place was worth it..." I smile rolling my eyes as the cashier rings through my purchaces..

3 hours later

 

"Okay so we are never going shopping again.." Jeremy groans as we enter the penthouse both of us have our arms full of bags, "for once i'll agree." I manage to make it to my door before it hits me that i'll have to put everything down to open it, i groan only to hear Jack laughing. "Need help?" "yes please!" She opens the door and i hurry in putting all my bags on the bed before exhaling, "So you and Jeremy have been busy i see." I shrug starting to go through my bags and put things in place, "Just a lot of shopping." She walks over and peaks into one of my bags, cocking her eyebrow as she reaches in and pulls out my little succulent. "I didn't know you were into plants," i shrug "I'm not usually but i kept going back to this one." She looks at me with a sweet smile on her face "What?" She grins wider "Ryan loves succulents, you've seen them in his room when your in there doing his make up. Your subconscious is causing you to think of things that remind you of him, it's really cute!" 

I take a moment to process her words when it hits me and i swallow "Shit.." She steps closer placing a hand lightly on my shoulder, "Gav it's okay.." I chew on my lip I didn't even realize that I had seen them before, "I should've remembered i'd seen them before. I've commented on them before when i'm doing his make up, " She smiles brushing my bangs from my face with the hand that was on my shoulder before she puts the plant down gently on my bed. "It happens love, i mean i've been out and picked up something that Geoff uses all the time without thinking. Last week i bought a few boxes of Banana Popsicle i don't even eat those and then i got home and remembered Those are Geoff's Favorite, but he's too stubborn to ask for them. Sweet pea it's little things you don't realize you do, like i know for a fact that Ryan does that with you all the time." I raise an eyebrow "Really?" She nods "Yeah i mean i'm sure you've noticed new pieces of jewelry or boxes of tea in the cupboard you don't remember buying, that's him."

As she says it , it starts to click in my brain all the times i've gone to put on my rings or jewelry and found pieces i don't remember buying, or the times i could've sworn we were out of tea but it magically appears in the cupboard. "I never really thought about it," she smiles ruffling my hair "It's not something a lot of us usually stop to think about, like with you buying that plant it can just be something you do without realizing why." We stand for a moment my chest aching "Jack could I.. would it be possible to go see him?" She checks her watch "We should be okay for a little while at least, i'll call Barbara and let her know were on our way." She leaves and i quickly put the rest of my things away, it's times like this i feel like a child. I have to ask permission and i'm treated like a child, i huff i know why but still. I grab the succulent and meet Jack at the elevator she smiles at me We step into the elevator and she doesn't say a word as we go down to the garage.

As the elevator doors open we see Lindsay and Michael pulling up, We let them park before we walk towards Jacks car. "Where you guys headed?" Lindsay asks sliding out of the Red sports car, "Were off to check on Ryan." Lindsay glances down at the pot in my hands and i suddenly feel very self conscious, but she doesn't say anything she simply smiles "Jack did you want me to start dinner tonight?" She inquires as Michael joins her from around the front of the car. "That would be great thanks Linds i've got some fish defrosting in the sink," With that being decided Jack and i slide into her car. As she starts the car and we back out of the garage onto the street i let my knees bounce , my stomach filled with anxiety and nerves. " Do you think he'll wake up?" She leans back in her seat slightly "I'd like to think so, Ry's never been one to stay down no matter what happens. I mean remember when he fell from that plane and only narrowly managed to land in the water?"

I nod letting my gaze fall to the succulent on my lap, "Gav sweetie i'm sure he will come out of this. Sure there will be hurdles but he's gonna pull through,"She pauses as we turn the corner "Besides we have the top doctors looking after him." "I know i just.. I can't help but think about what if he doesn't what if this is it? I have so much i haven't told him there's so much left for us to do together...." I bite my lip for a moment, "Some nights after a heist when i've crawled into bed and i'm having a nightmare i wake up to him next to me. He Never tells me how he knows i'm distressed, he doesn't even tell me how long he's been in my room for. All i know is when i fall asleep i sleep three times better knowing he's there, I've had dreams where he and i are in this little cabin up in the woods.. There's snow on the ground and a chill in the air, we get snowed in because there's a sudden blizzard and we cuddle on the couch and i feel safe...I feel the love in that," I exhale a shaky breath. 

There's silence for a moment as i realize were parked at the clinic and Jack is staring at me, "Gav honey.." Her face scrunches for a moment, "Things are gonna be okay thank you for sharing that with me.." I shrug slightly unbuckling myself "Don't tell anyone i told you that though i don't think i'd live it down." She chuckles lightly wiping at her eyes , "I won't i promise." She gets our and we walk into the building side by side. As soon as we enter Ashley looks up from the desk and smiles, "Hey guys you guys can head right in Trevor just left." I follow Jack down the hall we reach the room at the end of the hall and she opens the door, stepping inside Barbara's at the end of the bed. She looks up from the chart in her hands and smiles at us, "Hey you two i was just heading out." She hangs the clip board on the end of the bed before striding over to us " Actually babs mind if i ask you some questions?" Jack asks and i immediately know what she's doing.

"Yeah sure," She chirps and the girls step into the hall leaving me in the room alone with Ryan and my succulent. I slowly walk over placing the plant on his side table before my eyes drift up to his face, the bandages wrapped around his head and the slight purplish yellow bruises make my stomach drop. I plop down into the chair and carefully take his bandaged hand in mine, "i'm sorry Ryan.. I wish things went different, i mean i guess things happen for a reason but this could've been avoided if i paid attention." I brush my thumb over the bandages over the top of his hand. "You gotta pull through this though, if you don't i dunno what i'll do.." I run my tongue over the back of my teeth i tenderly squeeze his hand."I brought you a succulent so when you wake up the room isn't so drab..." I let the next few minutes go by quietly , keeping my gaze on our hands. "I promise that if you make it out of here i'll tell you how i feel no matter what... I don't want to loose an opportunity to be with you because i was too shy about how i feel."

No matter what this is a promise i plan to keep, no matter how hard it will be to tell him i have to..


	4. A few pictures from your past And those walls you painted black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this one takes place about two week later

The penthouse is quiet everyone having gone out for a day at the beach, i decided to stay home not really feeling the beach today. I stretch in bed rolling over i glance out the window, the sun is high in the sky and i can only imagine how hot it is. Heaving a sigh i decide i shouldn't stay in bed all day no matter how much i'd like to, dragging myself out of bed i pad out into the hall. I glance towards the kitchen but i'm not really hungry, "Alright Gav what are we gonna do..." I mumble to myself chewing on the inside of my cheek, i let my gaze drift forward towards Ryan's door. I should go water his plants it's been a week and no one has thought about it.. I walk over to the door and hesitate momentarily, i don't even know why but it feels weird going to enter his room when he's not here. I take a breath and open the door as i step in i'm hit by the smell of his cologne, i exhale slowly as i walk in and close the door behind me. I walk to his bathroom and grab the watering can filling it at the sink before going back into the room.

I go about watering the plants trying to focus on that, but by the time i'm about half way done i have to stop letting my eyes drift up to the walls. There's some pictures taped up over the bed, some from as recent as last month and others where Ryan looks rosey cheeked and way too young. I sigh placing the watering can down i sit on the edge of the bed my head throbbing slightly, i rub at my forehead i wish this was easier... I let myself flop backwards onto the bed and i stare up at the black ceiling, surprisingly enough it's calming and i feel my headache slightly subsiding. I never understood why he painted everything black in the first place but i guess it makes sense that it's pretty calming, i close my eyes and try to focus on getting the last of my headache to disappear. "There you are!" I yelp jumping as Jack's voice fills the room, I glare at her as she simply rolls her eyes crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I thought you guys were going to be out for most of the day?" I question "The rest are i had some people to check on, you being one of them."

I huff sitting back up on his bed "So what do you need Jack..." She smiles "Well mr grumpy I WAS going to take you to see Ryan today , seeing as Trevor called and says he's awake but if your gonna be like that..." I scramble off the bed and she laughs happily as i launch myself at her, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!" I feel my heart jump and she nods. "Now don't get to excited he is awake but he's very confused and he's not talking or really moving yet," I hug her tightly "but he's still awake.." She pats my back "I thought maybe if you visited he may settle down slightly," i raise an eyebrow as i let her go. "Me calm him down?" She nods as she motions for me to follow her "Well you've visited him almost three times a week, plus i thought of you first." I smile slipping on my shoes, "thanks mom." She scoffs "God i'm not that old... But your welcome, i'm glad you were dressed." I snort " I didn't wan't want to sit in my pajamas today.." I'm bouncing as we step into the elevator i'm so excited and so happy.

She pulls out of the garage and i can't stop the giggle from escaping my lips, "Your ridiculous." "I can't help it!!" She laughs my knees bounce as we round the next corner the hospital coming into view, "Jacccccckkkk!" I chirp and she starts to laugh "Calm down! I cannot in good faith let you go in this bouncy, Trevor will kill us both. It's good to be excited but keep it toned to the hospital," I nod taking a few deep breaths and doing my best to exhale slowly. She finally pulls into a parking space and shuts off the car, She gives me a look over before unlocking the door."Alright i'll be there in a minute i'm going to call Geoff and let him know what's going on." I nod trying to keep a level head as i climb out of the car and stalk into the building, Ashley looks up from the desk and smiles "Hey Gav, Jack bring you?" I nod stupid smile plastered on my face. Looking to the hall Trevor's stepping into the room he looks at me and smiles, "Hey so i have two rules for you in particular." I raise a brow "One keep calm and two be very careful and don't excite him too much, we have some more tests and we don't need his heart rate racing too much; And be for warned he's really confused about what's going on."

I roll my eyes "What do you think i'm gonna do bang him?!?" He snorts "No your too scared to do that," I stick my tongue out at him before i hurry past him to ryan's room. I reach the doorway and looking in he's staring up at the ceiling brows knitted together, my heart leaps this is so exciting!! I walk over slowly as not to startle him "Ryan?" No sooner does his name pass through my lips does his gaze snap over to me, he looks relieved to see me and i can see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Ry no your not supposed to be the one crying you pleb.." I grab a tissue off the side table and dab at the corners of his eyes, "Hey there relax Ry bread your okay and were here for you." We lock eyes and i can see the questions in his crystal blue eyes, "I'm sure you have questions but those can be answered later. Right now you just gotta relax and focus on letting your body heal," I do my best to keep my voice soft and gentle. He eyes search my face and i smile, "don't worry were all here to help and keep an eye out for you and help your recovery!" 

I walk over to the window and open the curtains, jack sure is taking her time joining us. I walk back to the bed and carefully sit next to him his eyes don't leave me for a second, "I'm so glad your awake. I was... We were all terrified you weren't gonna make it, " i pause dropping my gaze to my lap. " I made sure to water your plants so you don't have to worry about them, the penthouse has been pretty quiet..." I chew on my bottom lip for a minute "Ya know i thought when you woke up i'd have lots to update you on and lots to talk about, but shockingly enough i am at a loss for words." I glance over and just by the crinkle of his eyes and the way his eye brows are i know he wants to laugh. "I know me unable to think of anything to talk about! Outrageous!" I reach out and hold onto his hand "Don't worry just like your probably going to be out of here sooner than later, i'll figure out some stupid questions for you." "What's that about stupid questions?" I look over to the doorway where Jack's now standing, " I roll my eyes "I was just tellin' Ry how i don't have much to say so i'll think of more stupid questions."

She smirks "That shouldn't be hard.." I stick my tongue out at her, "your so nice to me jack." She smiles playfully " i just got off the phone with Geoff and he and the boys are going to swing by in about twenty minutes," I nod secretly wishing it could be just Ryan and i for a while. I know it's selfish but i just can't help it, I get up so jack can sit but as i do there's a grip on my hand. Glancing down my heart races a little "Jack!" I squeak excitedly and she looks down her face beaming, "I don't think he wants you going anywhere. So unless you want to cut off your wrist then i think your stuck," She teases and i can't help but smile stupidly "That's okay i'll be here if that's what he wants," i look over at Ryan who rolls his eyes but the corners are crinkled so i know he's happy. "I'm gonna go see if i can find a straw and a paper cup get him some water maybe we can even get him talking," She disappears and were left alone again. "Before i don't get another chance to say it i'm sorry about what happened i mean i'm basically the reason your in this mess," i screw up my face swallowing slightly .

He squeezes my hand slightly harder and i look at him his brows are furrowed, i sigh "It is my fault though you all say it's not but i pulled the trigger," He exhales sharply before poking at my hand. He let's me go and i watch his hand make a motion like he's holding a pen, "You wanna write something?" He gives a thumbs up and i get up opening the drawer beside his bed i'm lucky to find a small writing pad and a pencil,I slip the pencil between his thumb and forefinger and slide the pad underneath.He writes quickly then taps the pad with his pencil 'IF YOU BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS SO HELP ME WHEN I CAN MOVE AGAIN' i smirk "You'll what kill me?" He rolls his eyes scribbling again 'Stop that' i snort ' stop what?' ' he glares at me writing again 'This is not your fault, stop being an asshole to yourself. I was the one that should've used comms to let you know i was coming if anything.' I shake my head ' look how about we talk about this when your able to actually vocalize? for the time being i'm just happy your alive and on the road to recovery," he manages a sigh but writes another note. 

' Okay but were not dropping this you need to know it wasn't you, but i want your hand back. please." My heart skips slightly as his gaze drifts and he drops the pencil, i take his hand in mine again and he's squeezing mine his thumb brushing along the top. We sit quietly until the sound of Jacks footsteps breaks the silence, "Alright Trevor said we can try and sit him up slightly and one of us has to attempt to put the cup to his lips and get it in his mouth.." She giggles the whole time she says this her eyes fixed on me "Why are you looking at me like thAT.." It hits me that she won't do it, i let my eyes dart to Ryan who's looking at me with amusement. "Okay so i'm going to the other side let's get him sitting up," i let his hand go and get myself into a good position as Jack get's on the other side. "Okay one..Two..Three!" We lift him up to a sitting position fixing the pillows once we have him leaning against the back wall,he grunts slightly and we remove our hands. I watch as he pats the bed his hand up to his wrist able to move , it's good to know how much he's able to move.

Jack pours the water then hands me the cup, "I'll go check for the others." She leaves and i sigh "Alright," I step slightly closer and take a second "now how do i do this.." I hear the scratch of the pencil on paper and i glance down, "Try moving my lip with your thumb door knob." I roll my eyes but i gently move his bottom lip with my thumb and carefully tip the cup allowing just enough water to trickle into his mouth, i glance down watching his adams apple bob slightly. "Woah slow down there too fast and you could choke, i shift the cup back up and i feel him panting slightly against my thumb. I put the cup down just as the others file in i move towards the back so the others can have a chance to say hello, "Aren't you stoked boi?" I jump slightly Realizing Michael's next to me keeping his voice slightly lower, "Of course i am!" He smirks "What?" "I heard Trevor and Geoff talking, apparently if Geoff can get one of us to stay home to look after him and do all the exercises and help him about he could come home as quick as tomorrow..."

I feel myself smirk crossing my arms over my chest, "Really?" He nods "Yeah and i also heard Jack volunteer you," i pause "wait what??" I look over and Jacks smiling back feigning innocence "I only said that you told me earlier that you would, if it were to come up." She's such a sneaky little git sometimes, "I would totally look after him i mean i'm the only one at home most of the day anyway.." I try to make my voice sound nonchalant, Michael snorts. "Well then it's settled we'll buy you a nurses outfit and this guy can come home tomorrow as long as we can maybe get him talking.." Geoff says cracking his knuckles, "Umm i don't think anyone wants to see me in a nurses outfit," they all laugh and even from where i'm standing i can see Ryan start to smirk. "Geoff he's right," His voice is horse but it's there!! "Fucking christ dude you sound awful!" Geoff teases and Ryan rolls his eyes. "Well I'd like to see you sound better after waking from a coma," he retorts and Geoff snorts.

"Well as long as your able to talk your definitely coming home tomorrow, I hope your ready for nurse duty gav." I smile leaning back against the wall, "I've got no plans so i'm all set."


	5. I could spill my guts out Wearing my best little girl pout And I almost missed it But nobody said that this was gonna be easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next dayyyyy

"So you guys should be all good now, remember if you need anything major just call Barbara or i." I nod as Trevor adjusts the iv slightly it took three of them to help him upstairs, over night he's managed to be able to stand slightly, walk a bit and move his arms more, but Trevor recommends he stay laying in bed for a while and do some exercises and only move with help and when necessary. "So there's a bell on the nightstand if you need me and i'm not in the room," I chirp as Trevor passes me before following him to the elevator. "Now behave and be Gentle with him you are completely at his disposal," He smirks and i roll my eyes shoving him towards the elevator "Good bye Trevor..." Going back to his room he's got his eyes closed "So Ry, i'm gonna go make us some lunch if you need anything just ring the bell." He nods . "After lunch you think you could help me with a shower?" I swallow slightly "Sure," He smiles "And were all alone?" i nod "Yeah Geoff and Jack are shopping, and Michael,Jeremy,Lindsay and Jon are on a double date." I inform him before i slip back out and head to the kitchen.

 

I go into the fridge and pull out a carton of eggs, a red pepper and a bag of ham lunch meat. I grab the tools and set up a frying pan on the stove before i get to work cutting up the ham and pepper. 'No matter what you have to tell him how you feel' i tell myself as i scrape the peppers and ham into the frying pan off the cutting board. I made a promise to tell him and i am not going to back up from that no matter what i have to tell him. I crack the eggs into the pan and hum to myself as i reach into the cupboard pulling down a few spices, as i spice things all my mind can focus on is how the hell i'm going to tell him. This is going to be one of the hardest things i have to do, i put down some toast and grab two plates down. I plate the eggs and turn off the stove, the toast pops and i quickly butter them before grabbing two forks and shoving them on the plates. "There," i mumble to myself before grabbing the plates and heading back to his room. He's managed to sit himself up a bit more and i smile walking over i hand him one plate before sitting myself on the end of the bed.

We eat quietly until our plates are clean, "I never knew that you could cook." I chuckle grabbing his plate i place them on the bed side table, "it's not something i do often but i know a few things." He smirks "Alright i'm going to go and put the dishes in the dishwasher,"he nods "once you come back maybe you can help me to one of the showers? We just gotta be careful and make sure i can get in from the right side." I swallow slightly "Alright," I slip out and walk to the kitchen placing the plates in the dishwasher. 'Okay Gav deep breath, it's just a shower..' I walk back to the room stepping inside i hurry around the bed realizing he managed to stand himself up. I slip under his one arm as he holds onto the iv stand, "Could you not do that please?" He cocks a brow "Do what?" "Stand by yourself right now, the last thing i want is for you to fall and for me not be here to catch you.." He smiles and i feel a blush creeping up my neck, we gingerly make our way to the hall. 

"Ry your holding back on me," He looks at me confused "You can put your full weight on me i can take it," he sighs slightly but i feel him oblige and i help him to my room."Mines the only bath you can get into from both sides," he nods and we keep a steady pace as we walk into my bathroom. I help him sit on the toilet seat i walk around the tub and put the plug in turning on the water. "Are you sure you wanna attempt a shower? Or would you rather sit in the bath." He sighs "I guess a bath would be best i mean if i was to shower you'd probably have to stand in there with me." I feel my mouth dry slightly i do not think i could handle that,I check the water trying to shake the thought out of my mind. Once the tub is full enough i stop the water and walk around the tub back to him, "Do you think you can take your clothes off your self or do you need me to help?" I ask pushing back the nerves that thought is giving me, "I could probably get the shirt off and drop the bottoms but i don't think i can lift my legs out of it without help."

I nod watching him cautiously lifting his shirt off managing to get it over the iv stand and it drops at the wheels, i swallow trying not to drool at the muscular god in front of me. He goes for his pants and i advert my gaze swallowing slightly, jesus christ... "alright ready," i walk over and bend avoiding looking at his cock; as much as i want to i just can't do it..His weight shifts onto my back "Alright lift," he does and i make quick work of removing the clothing from his ankle. "Alright next one," We both lift it and i toss the pants to the floor. "Boys are you in here i brou.... OH MY GOD!" I hear Jack shriek i feel Ryan wobble and next thing i know hes fallen on top of me and i feel like i'm going to explode. "DO YOU KNOCK EVER!??!?!" I shriek doing my best to help Ryan get up, He grunts and i can hear the pain in it as i manage to get him to his feet. My hearts racing as i help him lean against the one wall, "You okay do i need to call trevor? that was a major fall i don't want you to have hurt anything." he shakes his head "nah maybe just help me into the tub," i nod going under his arm we walk over slowly and i help him lift his legs and step into the water.

I ease him down until he's sitting and i relax a little seeing him do the same, "Thanks Gavin, Sorry bout falling on you there.. " I shake my head "No your fine, Jack on the other hand.." He let's out a breathy chuckle and i sit myself on the floor behind the tub, "Just let me know if you need me okay? " "I will probably need you to wash my hair and back... If you think you can handle that," i roll my eyes smiling despite myself. "I think i'll be fine i mean your in the tub not like anything else could go wrong," I get up and walk over to my cabinet. Opening the door i look through the many shampoos and conditioners finally settling on a pair that smells like strawberry bubblegum, "Alright.." I whisper more to myself turning to walk back over i take two steps and i feel myself slipping, "Shit!" I screech but before i can stop myself i fall face first into the water my face hitting his legs and my mouth and nose filling with water, i scramble to my feet and i'm gasping for air i can see Ryan's fighting back laughter.

 

"Are you okay?" I sigh shaking my head reaching down i grab the bottles of shampoo and conditioner and place them on the edge of the tub, "If you wanted to be in the tub i would've taken the shower," He teases and i'm at a loss for words is he serious?!?!?! I can't even muster more than a pathetic squeak of "i'll be back," before i hurriedly exit the room. I step into the hall and grab a few towels before i go back to my room, Glancing down the hall Jack and Geoff look at me before bursting into laughter. I huff stepping back into my room i close and lock the door behind me, i peel off my shirt before wrapping a towel around my hair as well as changing into a pair of pajama pants. Stepping back into the bathroom i place the two extra towels on the toilet seat lid and turn back to Ryan, he's watching me curiously. "Ready for me to wash your hair and back?" he nods and i walk over carefully grabbing the bottle of shampoo i empty a little into my palm before i lather it into his hair.

I feel him lean into my touch and i smile "Feel nice?" he hums a yes "i haven't had my hair played with in a while," I smile my heart beats slightly faster i want to tell him in this moment but maybe i should wait till he has clothes on... I reach over towards the tap and grab the plastic cup i keep there, i rinse his hair slowly carefully. I repeat the process with the conditioner and he yawns, "That feels so nice..." he murmurs and i laugh lightly "i'm glad it feels nice but you need to stay awake," i see him roll his eyes as he leans forward. I grab the soap and rub it between my palms making sure i have enough before i place it on the side, i go about rubbing it into his back muscles and fuck why is he so sculpted. i feel him sink down just a pit more as i rinse his back "Alright sleepy let's get you outta here before you pass out." I pull the plug and grab the towels off the toilet seat, turning back i carefully help him up and out of the tub keeping my gaze on the floor.

He wraps one towel around his waist and copies me doing his hair up in one, "So i'm thinking you can just stay in my bed because it's closest to everything." He nods "Fair enough," i help him get into the bed and he smiles "alright i'm going to go grab you a pair of boxers and a pair of sweatpants which drawer are they in?" He shifts slightly "Top one in the big dresser.. Thanks again for everything Gav i really appreciate this," i smile "no problem." I shuffle out of the room and slip into his i grab the bell off the nightstand and quickly grab a pair of his boxers and a pair of his sweat pants. Going back into the hall i bump into Michael "Hey boi i thought you and Lindsay were on a double date,"He smirks looking me up and down. "We are, were all hitting the bar i came to see if you wanted to join us now that Jack and Geoff are home," I maul it over "Thanks but i think i'll pass." He chuckles slightly "What?" He shakes his head "Nothing, nothing at all.." 

I roll my eyes walking past him i slip into my room, thank god he's still got the towel on.Padding around the bed i stop at his feet "So i'll help you get these on up to your thigh you think you can do the rest?" He snorts "yeah that should be fine." I slip on the boxers first and push them up to his thighs then slip his sweatpants on doing the same, i look away as he moves the towel and pulls them up the rest of the way. I take the towel and drop it into the laundry bin, Turning back he yawns again patting the bed. "You mind joining me this bed is way too big by myself," He asks and my heart races a little. "Okay," i climb onto the bed keeping a small gap between us, i go to ask if this is okay only to be pulled flush against his bare chest. "Is this okay it's just comforting to have you close." I manage to nod my mind racing but as the minutes tick by i feel him relax and i sigh gently letting myself get lost in the feeling.

 

\-----------

I wake up still pressed into him and i feel like i'm still dreaming, until i hear the sound of a phone camera. Looking towards the end of the bed Jacks smiling at me taking photos, 'what are you doing?' i mouth doing my best not to wake Ryan. She winks "nothinggg...." she whispers giggling before she hurries out, i sigh shifting just slightly closer; this bed has never felt this nice. I feel him move slightly but he just seems to snore slightly before his arm pulls me closer to him, my heart beats hard against my ribs. This is nice and very comforting , i could honestly get used to this; well i wish i could if i don't tell him i'll probably never get to do this again. "Gav could you come and..." Geoff's voice drops off and i hear a low chuckle as my door is closed quietly.Ryan shifts again but this time i know he's waking up and i feel a pang of disappointment, "hey..." he drawls out voice thick with sleep i sit up slowly, "hey nap okay?" he smirks "better than i have for a long while." I match his smile "good," He yawns and i realize both the towels from on our heads had been taken away Jack probably.

"Would you mind helping me to the bathroom?" I nod crawling out of bed i walk around to his side and slowly help him up, we walk to the bathroom and he stops at the door. "I can make it in from here if you wanna see what Geoff needed," i nod swiftly padding out of the room. I find Geoff sitting at the counter reading "you needed me?" He looks up from his book, "I just wanted to tell you Jack and i bought you a few things today. " I raise an eyebrow and he motions to a bag on the counter "Jack grabbed them, " i open the bag and looking inside there's a few books on painting and drawing techniques, as well as one titled ' how to ask out the man of your dreams for dummies'. I snort but take the whole bag back to my room, opening the door i see he's managed to get back on the bed . He's slightly out of breath as i get back to him "You okay Rybread?" he nods "yeah that was just a lot... I can't wait to be back in proper shape," i smile "I'm sure," I see him glance over to where i have my art supplies sitting. 

"Have you painted or drawn anything recently?" I look away slightly sheepishly "not since that happened really, i thought maybe i'd try if you were okay.." I feel his eyes on me and i rub at the back of my neck, "Gav.." His voice is soft and i finally look over he's looking at me with those damn piercing blue eyes, "Gav would you mind painting something while i watch?" I look at him confused. "I'd like to watch you paint, ever since i got this tattoo i've been meaning to ask you if i could watch you draw... If that's not weird or anything," i smile feeling a blush creep up. "It's not weird at all, umm i'll set up then.." I get up and gather my art supplies making sure to set my easel where he can see it, i proceed to grab my pencil out of the case and stare at the canvas. "What should i draw?" I ask and i hear him chuckle "what about me?" I feel my heart stop slightly I have been refusing to draw him, not that i can't but i'm scared i won't make it perfect "Sure," I manage to keep my voice calm as i flip the easel to face him.

This is going to be a project and a half... As i sketch i think though this could be how i tell him, maybe i could tell him through this without chickening out...


End file.
